Out of the bin of extraordinairly bad ideas, Redwood gives us our first ever $15 veggie burger. First off, veggie burgers are almost universally bad no matter how pricy they are.  Think about it - this is a food born with a split personality.  Is it supposed to be a burger?  A patty of veggies?  What is it supposed to taste like?  Is it supposed to taste like anything at all?

Secondly, if you are going to go ahead and make a $15 veggie burger, it should really taste a whole lot better than this:

The veg burger at Redwood combines white beans and wild mushrooms into a mammoth patty that apparently wants to compete, in terms of sheer volume and prestige, with the 8- to 10-ounce gourmet steakhouse burgers out there.  To its credit, the burger tastes light on traditional binders like breadcrumbs and rice. But it has other problems, like a mushiness that I can only compare to oatmeal, even when the patty is topped with house-made pickles and tomatoes.

Sorry Redwood, you’re just giving veggie burgers a bad name.  Now Spike on the other hand, he’s got it going on.  Panko encrusted, deep fried veggie burger?  Hell yes, thank you, please.

It’s like eating Quaker Oats between two brioche buns. The flavor isn’t much better.

Maureen is her regular catty, image obsessed self this morning, and her target is the Obamas’ eating habits. While not quite admonishing Michelle and Barack as hypocrites for hitting up burger joints, you know the restraint is killing her.

Its almost as if you can sense Ms. Dowd turning ever darker shade of green from image envy as she pens her lastest missive.  She refers to the president as the “willowy commander-in-chief” and snidely pokes him for supposedly being chubby as a kid. Of course the only proof of childhood weight issues she has is a single photo, nevermind that adolescents often pack on a few pounds before a big growth spurt.  But this dear columnist will happily twist and turn herself into a pretzel in order to create the allusion of angst.

All in all, this isn’t Dowd at her most vicious, we’ve seen at much worse where the nails really do come out.  But it is a cheap shot.  She parts with:

Mr. Obama ostentatiously treats himself to fries and burgers to beef up his average-Joe image (even though he’s anything but). Yet maybe when Charlie Gibson and Diane Sawyer come next week to broadcast a special on health care from inside the White House, the president should forgo the photo-op of the grease-stained bovine bag and take the TV stars out for what he really wants and America really needs: some steamed fish with a side of snap peas.

Why can’t a public figure advocate for healthy eating, while at the same time enjoy a treat or two from time to time?  The Obamas have never advocated for a militant raw-vegan-macrobiotic-wrap-everything-in-seaweed diet.  Instead the message has always been one of moderation - eat less sugar, eat more fresh vegetables and fruits.  The message was never “burn McDonald’s to the ground”.

The truth is, moderation is not sexy.  It’s the anathem of sexy - its practical.  And where is the fun for Maureen in that?

Warning: May not be safe for children due to some violent content.

This is kinda sad.  The lowly, forgotten single patty hamburger is actually the menu item with the least number of calories at McDonald’s. At 250 calories and 9 grams of fat, the burger far undercuts even the filet-o-fish sandwich, my go to when forced into a McDonald’s situation, which weighs in at 380 calories and 18 grams of fat.

The worst offender is the surprising Triple Thick Chocolate Shake at a whooping 1160 calories and 27 grams of fat.  As Lifehacker notes:

Not only is the Triple Thick Shake the only drink bad enough for you that it merited inclusion in the top five worst foods at McDonald’s, but it’s worse for you than just about anything else they offer. If you wanted to recreate the artery and waistline pounding excess of a large Triple Thick Shake, you’d pretty much have to take a stick of butter, pour 80 Pixie Stix on it, and hit it with a salt shaker before eating the mountain in front of you with a spoon.

H/T Herbiv.org

Last evening I had an epic fail where I seemed to have thrown away my Decemberists tickets while I was cleaning my office a few weeks ago. Dejected, I decided to turn lemons into hamburgers….specifically Z-Burger in Glover Park on Wisconsin. I had heard quite a bit about them and my friend who was going to the concert was also up for the trek to what has been named by many as one of DC’s Best Burgers.

The Joint: After finding a parking space across the street from Z-burger, we headed into the joint. The facilities themselves are a nice, clean spot but also fairly reminiscent of Five Guys. The menu is pretty simple, 4 choices of basic burger–hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger, bacon cheeseburger–with the option to get either a single or double for each of the choices.  The toppings were also pretty standard for a burger place. I went with a single cheesburger with lettuce, pickles and sauteed mushrooms, my companion got the bacon cheesburger but neither of us can remember what he had on it.  We each got a side–onion rings for me, fries for him–topped off with a fountain soda.

The Burger: I was very disappointed in the ratio of burger to bun being extremely low. The burger is overwhelmed by the voluminous, stomach filling bun. The perfect bun should sop up flavor but not be so big that it fills your stomach when you are halfway done. And this is exactly what happened at Z-burger.  The bun is just too big for it’s own good.

The burger itself was pretty good, freshly made in front of my own eyes. But again, the burger flavor was overwhelmed by the bun. My burger was a good size but it barely reached the edges of the bun. The perfect burger should slighly extend beyond the edges of the bun.

The topping are FRESH…you see them right in front of you at the toppings set-up that Z-burger uses. My only complaint about this was that the sauteed mushrooms were not cooked long enough to develop the rich mushroom flavor that I so adore. They did put on a good number of pickles, always a good sign, but the lackluster mushrooms clouded my experience.

The Sides: Z-burger’s onion rings were the star of the show. Freshly deep-fried, the batter that surrounded the onions was like waffle batter. Thick yet light, the batter coated the onion rings in that rare way that makes sure the onions don’t slip from the batter.

The fries were the seasoned fries that you might find in many burger joints. They were also fresh but didn’t do much for me. The quest for the perfect fry is an epic one because, at least for me, I want different fries depending on my mood. That said, they were a good fry.

Getting individual fries and onion rings was a bad idea. These sides aren’t as huge as a Five Guys order but are definitely meant to be split. They offer a half-fries/half-onion rings option which is a great idea to satisfy both cravings.

Other Options: Z-burger also seems to have a salad option, but this was not on the menu that adorned this Z-burger location. Not that I would get a salad at a burger joint, but it’s there if you want a salad instead of a burger. The salads seemed to have a large array of options that looked just as fresh as the burger toppings.  There were also hot dogs, philly cheesesteaks, etc. Again, if the place is a burger joint, I think you should get a burger but there are options for other carnivores.

Price: Between the two of us, the two burgers, fries, onion rings, and fountain drinks cost $17.56. That’s a good price point for that much food.

Final Thoughts: Maybe if I’d had a double burger the burger/bun ratio wouldn’tve been such an issue. Then again, the bun should never overpower the hamburger. The sides were great and the onion rings are a must have. I hear at the original location they have malts. The price was good and affordable for most in the city.

Recommendation: If you like fresh burgers, Z-burger isn’t a bad place to get one especially with fresh ingredients for a good price. That said, I would much rather go to a Five Guys to overload in hamburgers. Also, don’t throw out your Decemberist tickets. Just saying.